head above water

No travel n the horizon. I remember thinking that work and travel were so glamorous. Not anymore. I missed so much in my life. I missed my friends. M and I broke up. I honestly think if I had been home more we wouldn't have lasted as long as we did. Almost a year and half. Every so often I get sad and miss him but then I realize I deserve better and I deserve someone who wants the same things as me.


Gone from being a brunette to a red head. Think I will go more a golden orange color. My hair has been fading to this great shade but now to copy it from the beginning. This is the color I like. I kind of like http://www.ioncolorbrilliance.com/Permanent_Hair_Color/Shades/

Level: 7 - Medium Blonde

Tone: Red-Copper

I keep waiting for my life to start. I know that isn't the right way to go. I need to just hit the gym, cook more at home and cook real meals with sides etc. I finally feel like my head is above water but it's taken awhile.I know I need to hit the gym, I feel great after the gym, but getting there lately has been rough. I have a little over a month before the fitting for my bridesmaid dress. I know I can't work miracles but I would like to tone up a bit and do some fake n bake. I don't want to be NJ orange but have some healthy color.

A New Year, Same Me

Back in California. Here until February. I have decided to go home once. But it is a super quick visit. I am going to see my sister in San Franciso over the MLK holiday weekend. Can't wait. I am sure I will get plenty of exercise just walking around.

Here is the hard part of traveling for work. Eating out. Every meal, every day. So hard to order the healthy option. I don't want salad all the time and man, sometimes that giant eclair is just calling my name.(Last night at Brent's Deli Walking distance from hotel)

I did go to the gym last night. Short work out but better than none. I was looking into joining a gym here but it's $75 for a 30 day pass to 24 Hour Fitness. Considering I pay $20 a month. That is a lot of money when I just use hotel gym. I would join if it was cheaper. Oh well, may just get a 7 day pass to check it out for fun.

I want the The Body Bugg by 24 Hour Fitness. I want it so bad. Can't see myself sepending $200+ for it though. (prices I found varied on source of sale and timing and of course if you got the watch like display) I know that right now while I am heavier I will burn more calories and as I lose the weight calories burning rations will decrease as I have less mass to lug around. I still would like to have a more accurate way to measure/monitor the calories I burn every day.

That is all for now. Going to a nice Italian place for dinner so I know I will eat a bunch tonight but tomorrow I will do a better work out at gym.

Post Christmas. Didn't lose any weight but I didn't gain either. Ended up not going to gym at all last week. Back to normal this week and then I leave for California on Sunday.

My sister is back in CT for winter term and then to finish her degree. I have missed her a lot. Glad she is back. She is going to go to gym with me tonight. Let's see if she sticks to it.

Motivation People!

I am having trouble getting motivated for the holidays. I don't know what's up. I don't want to go to anyone's house. I can't afford to go to my mom's (tickets around $500 seems like a huge waste of money). Granted most holidays I end up crying for some reason. The reason varies and it's usually over something stupid.

Right now work is slow and it happens every decemeber. I am traveling again for work and I leave in 16 days. So right now, It's filler time at work. Just trying to finish up what I can before I leave.

I am in a rut right now. There are few things that are in the pipeline to reach for over the next few months but it's all dependent on manangement. (we have temporary manager for my department) I know the things are coming aren't going to happen until we have permanent management. If the temp guy for CA wants to stay I am all for it. He is awesome but I want permanence so I can fight for a promotion I want.

The only thing that seems to help lately is going to the gym. Lame I know but it is something with in my grasp to get right now. If that is the only thinkg keeping me sane I will just have to accept it. The really sad thing is there is a happy hour tonight for a co worker who is transferring and I would rather go to the gym. The thought of going to a crowded bar I don't like to say good bye to someone I do like...


my mood is all over the place